Willkommen auf German for Germanophobes!

Who is this website for? This Webseite is for those people who hate to learn German with a passion, for those poor souls who are forced to dive into the abyss that is German, a language of “angry, angry poetry”.


It’s awful undermining to the intellect, German is; you want to take it in small doses, or first you know your brains all run together, and you feel them flapping around in your head same as so much drawn butter. – Mark Twain

According to 18th century classics scholar Richard Porson, “Life is too short to learn German”. And yet, millions of people aren’t lucky enough to have grown up with the German language and its love for the case system and an arbitrary word order, but who find themselves in the dilemma of having to learn this monstrosity of a language – be it for their job, to get this last pesky college credit, or to be able to communicate with their German partner, extended family or German Shepherd. 

Mark Twain was convinced that learning German is “what eternity is made for”. Anyone who has ever tried to get a grasp of it can surely relate to this assessment. German for Germanophobes is the (most likely) futile attempt to ease the pain for Germanophobes forced to learn this peculiar language.

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